To be with you. PART-1

“Stop starring all over” she said.

 Trying to get me talked by getting me the Diwali ka chivda and I was least interested in it.

“How could I be starring all over..? It’s not even grammatically correct?” i added trying to be normal even though I was very much tired.

“is there even a sentence of that kind?” I asked to the only other annoyed person and that happen to be to the lady sitting in front of me. I knew a movie like ‘the martian’ is not the one that you could watch with your special ‘anyone!!’. I was anyways late by almost a month in watching it. To add to the woes I had to drag myself all the way to wadala to see it. My disappointment grew when she insisted to tag along  

“I never knew you liked to watch movie with me?” I asked,

 “Talk to me, you wanted na..”She leaned ahead on the chair and answered.

“Not everything is supposed to happen your way always.” I replied

 “I already said that I am sorry” she replied.

“Oh please stop this sorry rant of yours, and I don’t understand why are you saying sorry?” I asked.

 “If there isn’t anything then why are you so fidgety and closed right now? “ I replied.

“look I really wanted to  watch this movie… alone and this fidgety behaviour you are supposedly seeing, is me pulling back to myself… as I finding it hard explain to myself, why the space I created for you remain always empty.” I answered.

Even I was shocked how smoothly and fluently this sentence came out. Maybe it was the starbucks coffee that finally kicked in. for a while there was silence on the other end of the table as she aimlessly stirred.

“See moving that straw round and round would neither make you coffee warmer nor sweeter” deliberately sounding arrogant.

“Previously too you weren’t willing to come, so it won’t surprise me if you wish to leave.” I said standing up.

“But maine aisa kab bola.. I know it’s not about the movie” she followed.

“You never said it directly but it’s visible and you are damn right that it’s not about the movie, it about all the excuses and reasons that you give.” I answered.

“Are woh toh ekdum se plan ban gaya tha.. I told you na!!”She was starting to explain.

“Dekho mujhe aise behaviour expect karne ki aadat ho gayi hai, people sometimes take me so much for granted that at time I am invisible to them and I am perfectly habitual to it…..” I calmly interrupted her.

“…and this closing in reaction is because I wasn’t expecting this from you…again” I finished.

It’s really tough to see such a person in such opposite situation. You would want to convince yourself that it isn’t what it looks like but you are not sure if the other person too wants the same way too.

“plz don’t say like that.. mujhe acha nai lag raha hai” she replied sadly.

I never thought that I would sound so rude to a person that I though was special to me. But the thing is I just couldn’t think any more. Maybe I was just too mentally tired to think more on it. And end up find a conclusion otherwise of what you have concluded. Especially when you turn your world head over heels to find time for this person and they give you the same stupid “busy” excuse. Still you argue with yourself much more before you argue with this person to understand the reason behind his/her excuse and comes up to nothing.

“I always tried to find 10 reasons to be with you, talk to you, see you and you always gave me one reason why you couldn’t .” I said and it was almost time for the movie.

“I am sorry, and I am saying sorry not for what I said or how I am behaving, but because I value you more than this. But unlike you I am not only admitting it but showing it as well.” I concluded

I tore the other half of ticket and kept it under her mobile and said

“Find me inside if and when you feel like talking… otherwise I know you will find your way out as you don’t like to be dependent on anyone for anything”. I said and walked briskly towards screen 3.

Concluding part coming soon………………………

A late night diwali message....

(please consider this just a write-up and nothing else.)
I am watching this Diwali walk past me. I somehow feel that I am sitting in some sort of time capsule, somehow the time for me isn’t just changing and when for a moment when I stepped out all I could see was darkness in sky and distant blinking lights of various colors fighting their own battle of existence in these vast extensions of darkness. Some blinking furiously and some having a strong perseverance and will power to go on …. Non stop.

These are the once that I have placed at my home. I know if whatever I am writing on this Diwali eve is a clear sign that I am “vella”. I wouldn’t even call it vella, coz what I am doing is a task of grave importance to millions of people. At least this is what I always tell my mind. And it is an important task my job profile. I know that there are millions kids like me all around this world. Well let’s face the facts,  not everyone can just stop their job or studies or an operation or sentry duty and just walk his ways back home. Millions like me, and for them their cell phone in their hand is the most convenient and trust worthy was to get in touch with their near and dear ones thousands of miles away.  I feel its my responsibility that their skype, whatapp, viber, and facebook messenger is working. 

 I wished to write something this Diwali as well like previous years but, either you blame it to the circumstance or the events that happened, I just forgot what I had initially planned to write. It’s just that sometimes some people so take you for granted that you are as good as invisible to them.  It’s just really hard to digest such a behavior. There is very little that you can do on your end when there is absolutely nothing left to be done for such a person. It like you start walking on a straight line but after a while you end up taking a circle and back to the same point. It even frantic when you think you are wrong and again start to walk hoping that this time you won’t repeat the mistake, you again end up in the making a circle and an epic fool out of yourself.

You wonder whether your judgment is wrong or you analysis of the situation. My intention in writing this is not to point out mistakes or hold anyone responsible (which were precisely my reason at the beginning). My purpose was to find an answer to it, either by finding a good reason for such a behavior or by convincing myself otherwise.

Maybe I have ran out of patience, maybe I am expecting thing from wrong directions, maybe this MBA and work as polluted my natural self or maybe it is just my tired mind making up things. Or maybe it’s the absence of a goal or maybe i am habitual of being busy. Maybe my mind behave normally when it’s loaded with things to do. The worked up places of my mind which are now beginning to get empty could be the source of these ghost thoughts. Maybe I need to get back to being efficiently utilizing my mental resources. I just hope its not sounding like becoming selfish. It’s not like that.  I know, I am known for what I do. And its preciously what I need to do again.

I know if not all, something is defiantly not correct in me. If I am able to give so much space in my life to such a person again and again, and if still that person is failing to acknowledge it… still.. Then I am sure whatever I am thinking is not wrong. keeping someone a motivation is absolutely not wrong, however keeping expectation could be. 

Being alone in Diwali did actually helped me to realize this, hell lot of time and not a pinch of work for me. I am hoping that this article gets the least hits. it’s something that don’t even want to remember, but looking on the brighter side, it still tells me… it’s not worth GIVING-UP.  That’s exactly what I would do. I would still look up to her. I remember making her my inspiration some time back. I would still look up to her that way. But with a little less enthusiasm and expectation, gladly thing that I gave my best again and it was just overlooked…..again.
Hoping that I am proved wrong, at least this time.


Happy Diwali….

what I learned with traveling.

Its been very long since I posted anything on my blog, but now I am back and it feels good.

Initially i was planning to post something else but ended up with this.

I am very much new to all this traveling and trekking things, but I cant tell you how much I love it.

I always felt that traveling is one of the best ways to get lost and find yourself at the same time. another true fact about traveling is that you done get this traveling feel on your own. It's is always inspired by others. In other words you always get this travelers kick from others and same would be the case with me. One of the most amazing thing happens when you realize that you love it and how foolish was it of you that you didn't realize it earlier.
But its still one of those feeling that soon gets over your mind and you just don't want to let this thing die in your mind.
I don't know what traveling means to others, or how different people interpret it. But for me traveling is like I said at the beginning a way to get lost and find myself all at same time.

it's the journey where I feel like I am finding myself. all the more because you have very little to do in your journey. It's like the longer the journey the more time you get to be with yourself. It is one of those things that all would agree is a must. it's strange how our thoughts makes us run all the place in our normal days. Infact there are very few normal days if you call yourself a normal person. Specially when by the end of the day you feel like tumhare dimag ka adark lehsun ho gaya.
I love to stare out of the window while traveling... staring at nothing at times for hours and hours. it like my mind goes into a hibernating mode. As if very few sense are working and your vision being one of those sense that's not.
Its in these moment I find myself deep within myself. Some random song lines just keeps on repeating over and over again endlessly. And you don't even realize how that song came into your mind in the first place.
And with each repeatation you fall deeper and deeper in you own rabbits hole. You are not even aware and your mind is getting serviced up.
Although sleep is the best way to recharge mind but it happens subconsciously... whereas here I feel it is happening consciously and how much little I have traveled this is what I have learned. The farther you stare while moving the more deeper you get connected with your self.
 At least once in your life just travel not for the sake vacation, or holiday or keeping a destination in mind but just for the sake of journey. to be very specific to feel this feeling of being with yourself and traversing to from a place, through places to the unknown.
that why people say that it's more about the journey than destination.
 Traveling is incomplete without a destination. perhaps its one of those situations where the meaning and existence of one is incomplete without the other. Such would the case with traveling. The meaning of traveling itself is incomplete without destination.
I did most traveling this year and still plan to do more before the year ends destinations always being different and challenging in their own way. Like I said earlier once you get habitual with being comfortable even in uncomfortable situation, no destination is tough or difficult or easy as a matter of fact. It just seems like a challenge and a chance to conquer. Conquer the unknown. Its my personal experience that I have lost my regular self in such places. someone else comes up in me, and this someone just is a different me. Sometimes it's the one that used to be myself years back, and sometimes it's a completely new me. Challenging your known self with an unknown destination is one thing I would suggest everyone to take.
Besides talking about it factually life may not be so comfortable all the time after all.
When it comes to survival, the more you know the more its helpful.
Life may not be so blissful always. Knowing how hard you can push your strength is a necessity Besides what a life worth living if you don't explore the unknown.
And this is valid not only externally in world but internally within your own mind as well.

LIFE IN ITSELF IS A JOURNEY... SO WHY NOT JUST TRAVEL A BIT ....IN THIS JOURNEY.

Nameless Smiles.

No one bothered to look at any other person once they enter this water park. Once out of the locker room it’s hard to find anyone if the campus is as huge as the Aqua Imagica. All you see is a sea of half naked human beings sprawling all over the place. Just a few minute earlier even I was a part of this stone aged looking crowd and it actually felt calm and peaceful.

 Why? Because the moment I put on my dark blue colour T-shirt and tried to sit for a minute a gentlemen came from behind and stated

 “Apni Bus zara jaldi nikalna”

 

And i was thinking like “please give me a break..... Am just out. Relax man. I am more worried than I look dammit... the whole damn bus is my responsibility...relax” while nodding my head acknowledging his concern.

It’s strange that I was just out and people came looking for me. Still, sitting on that wooden camping bench of the food court actually felt calming. It was raining outside and I wished to sit quietly for a while (if people allowed me). The ambience was like that of a normal rainy evening until a random song started to flow with the winds of rain. Sometime all it take is that infinitesimally differentiated instant of continuous time to send you deep down your lost memories, like a closet. In the pinch of tiredness my eyes got shut.

The sound of raindrops falling on the asbestos roof of food court and the cold winds carrying minute droplets of water ticked the urge of coffee within me. Just at this time a faint sound of whistle struggled to reach my ears. Somewhere between the rain sound and the people noise the sweet whistling sound managed to subdue the coffee urge. The whistling sound started with the piano backdrop. Initially it felt like a random song but after a while it sounded very familiar.This sent a wave of Goosebumps around my body. It was what i heard for the first time in 2011. It felt as if the whistle and piano lifted me and took me back in time......

It looked as if i was present there.... here.....the 3^rd floor of my college building still looked very much alive and active. I skewed my hands through my long hair and walked past the classrooms one after another. Occasionally smiling when seeing familiar face, waving at them and shaking hands as we crossed each other.

I finally stopped at an intersection of corridors. Every now and then starring at my watch and fiddling with the strap of my bag as if awaiting someone. After a while a group of students walked diagonally away from me and behind this group was the reason why i was there.

As if she was the winds, carrying the fallen leaves ahead of it, whispering a coded message everytime it flew across your ears, somewhat hypnotic and mysterious at the same time. She approached me with me looking down at the floor as if avoiding unnecessary eye contact. I guess she knew her eyes where different and mesmerizing. But when she looked up to me with those coffee brown eyes i was left stunned.

And when she would smile with those eyes i just couldn’t stop myself from imagining kissing her. I wondered how come others didn’t see her beauty. Or was it that even she didn’t know how beautiful she looked when she smiled with joy or maybe it was just me. It’s one of those moments where you know what you are thinking is sinful, yet it seems delightful and desirable.

She stood in front of me holding my journal as cold November winds blew past her hairs. How I wished I could be the wind that day. Dancing and swirling within her curly hairs. After handing over the journal she clinched her fists inside her black sweater jacket and I had to muffle my sensual young November desires in the pockets of my jackets. However my sleeveless jacket was of little help.  We talked but it was tough to control the tussle of heart and logic. As my eyes bounced between her brown eyes and lips I could hardly remember what we were talking.

For a moment the heart whispered “Bol De Usko”, and at that very moment her phone rang.

Same whistling, same piano, same voice, same rhythm, same lyrics and same singer. And then it clicked. It was barry Manilows “Cant smile without you”. Since that day it became my favourite. A song that was once very special to me. But how come i forgot it? i just remember listening to it like everyday while going to college on my bike? As if it happened just now.

........and then again there was silence, and all i could hear was the same rain drops falling of the asbestos rooftop. This sudden change in ambience was hard to understand. To better understand what is going on my eyes popped open.....

Only to realise that it’s not 2011 and its not Bangalore and definetly it’s not November nor winter. This was Mumbai, its 2015 and it was raining. Neither my hairs were long nor was I in uniform.

For the next few minutes I found myself starring deep into the transparent hazy view of the monsoon, trying to see as far as possible attempting to see deeper within me. I tried hard and harder maybe once or twice, because at an instant it felt like as if I saw her smiling again.... at a distance and starring back....but right through me as if i was a ghost. Or maybe it was just me who in the chaos of time may have seen her ghost instead.

 

Inspired from “Cant smile without you” from Barry Manilow.

The name on T-shirt.

On this Independence Day celebration there is no need for me to tell you that how fortune you and me are. Nor I would be the first person to tell you that how fortune we are. There may be some bad things that we have faced but the good thing that envelops them is much more important than it.
Yes we have 364 days to crib about how we have lost our direction of freedom and interpretation of independence, but to think on it we have 364 other days. Today is that day you feel proud about everything that you are. Initially I wasn’t intending to write anything in such a short notice. But there was this small incident, this small instant, this momentary face-off what is inside me. It was an encounter with myself. That I, which since past few days had been thinking on it. 

A fear and an unease that was bothering me was this photo.  Two important things happened that had inspired me to write this. The first happened while we were distributing sticker flags in various office floors.
There was this new joinee in my roommates’ team who wanted to be a part of our team, this team. So he was inquiring about how it can be done. All could do was inform him and say a very genuine sorry.  But deep down somewhere it felt good.

Up until now we knew that we were doing something additional, something that if you ask me personally was my choice. It was something that I chose to do because I liked doing, enjoyed it and it is the very same thing that I do without any fancy expectations in return. This was the general feeling that I had about my intent and activity that we do apart from our normal allotted and assigned task.
But today it for the first time it felt like I was doing or did something that was actually good. This small conversation with this new guy filled me with the sense of gratitude and success. Why? The very reason of his intention to join our team prompted me that whatever we were doing was actually being felt by the employees at large.

The second incident that happened today was more important than the first. With this t-shirt and this batch I was walking past NNOC towards F-block food court late in the afternoon. I was supposed to be my weekly off but still I was in the office as our team had organized some activities for our employees that required all of us to be present. To give a unique identification we were given this T-shirts.

While walking past the rear Side of NNOC going towards the F block food court I saw few of my colleagues walking back towards me. For a moment I stopped and was startled, doubtful and fearful as well. There was this strange something that made my head go down every time I would see someone staring at me in this t-shirt. But today this fearfulness was even more because that tricolor batch which we were given. I was so fearful about their sarcastic questions that for a moment I gave into my fear and turned back to walk away. This was something that I had faced many times but never a thing like this had happened to me before.
 But what was I embarrassed about? Was there any reason for me to be embarrassed about? Was it because of t-shirt? Or was it because of the name that was written under it….? Or was it because of what is there below my name? Or was it just nothing???

I did turn back, but it was brief. I took a few sec to compose myself and again turn back. Actually there was nothing for me to be embarrassed about. It was just my fear.
 Yes the look that we get both good and bad is a part of our responsibility. This is what always happens and has happened many times before as well. As far as the T-shirt is concerned, it is not easy to get. The new joinee who was interested, am sure was more interested in the T-shirt. Although it seems very simple but it comes with a lot of responsibility. A responsibility that we have to fulfill apart from our job descriptions and role in the organization and vertical teams for which we are assigned work.
Tired legs, lunch less days, hours of discussion and planning and numerous tasks and responsibilities that is carried out in the back end that most of the people do not see. And it is the same thing that happens for every time and for every event that we undertake. It is totally not our usually 8 to 10 hour shift. It’s much more than that and precisely the important task that many people don’t see.

Was I embarrassed about the name that was in the shirt? For a moment yes…. But there are very few people who know what actual it has taken me to get that name under the teams name. For some it would have been comparatively easier but for me it wasn’t. There is something known as stepping out of the comfort zone, but for me with what I was doing there was no such thing as comfort zone. It was lost somewhere sometime in last few months. Those how knew me during this time knows what I am saying.
But once you start enjoying it doesn’t really matter whether you have a comfort zone or not. Personally I had to go way out of my way to manage doing these entire things well. Perhaps all the people don’t know this. As far as the name itself is concerned I am habitual to such unexpected reactions.

Was wearing a tricolor batch on 14th august the reason for my doubt? Perhaps yes but it was mostly because of the date not otherwise. However the entire combination could be the reason for my doubt. This photo says it all, maybe there is something that is different in me or it is something that I feel is different in me.
But this experience helped me realize an important thing, that there is another aspect of freedom. freedom not only means being free from slavery and oppression but also means freedom from the fears that lies within us. Freedom from that though that makes us say “I can’t do it”, freedom from that feeling that makes us think “I am not responsible for this” and freedom from the act of backing out. But most importantly it is the act of facing your fears. This would have two possible outcomes either you learn how to face it or you will ultimately end up conquering it.
Either ways you will become free of your doubt about fear.

Freedom is not a right, it is a privilege. The main reason being that we got it neither easily nor ordinarily. Same is the case with our own self. Freedom is also needed from self-disbelief, self-oppression and stiffness. An empowered society will result in an empowered nation.  The strength and safety of the nation is not just the responsibility of people in uniforms. With a uniform come large responsibilities and a sense of order in chaos. But by and large its everyone’s equally.

And this t-shirt and names on it helped me understand it very well and I am glad about. I just hope people on the outside too understand that it’s not just about the t-shirt or the name on it. There is lot more that comes with it.
Inspired from…
(I always thought that in the world there are two kinds of people ... one who go silently to their death ... and second who go crying and screaming to their death ... and then I met the third kind….)
Rang De basanti 2006.
Happy Independence Day

Rescue Raft S-26/7

I am writing it at a very short notice. Perhaps this reason is the reason itself which is making me to pen it down in such a short time. I don’t want the proudness of some kind hinder with the facts and all the more with the truth about this incident. Also I have been writing my blog since almost 8 years now, and for the first and probably the only time I would be making and exception about the one and only rule of my blogs i.e.”No Names”.

And I feel this write-up is apt to take into the account this exception. And also for the first time entire event and names mentioned in this are 100% true.

A planned trip to kolad a small town just 150 km from navi-mumbai is were  white water rafting is allowed in a 12 km section of Kundalika river.

Our small group consisted of Tushar Ghag, Manish Pawar, Harish Barode, Mita Akali, Srishti Bhatt, Anandita Aggrawal, Suyog kadam and myself (Ignatius Lewis) all working in the same company and that was the only thing similar amongst us until this date (26-07-15).

Honestly there was very little that I knew about adventure sports specially River Rafting. Amongst all of us Anandita was the only person not doing it for the first time. Once going through a crash course in River rafting our trainer Pradeep quickly took our raft into the river. The seating arrangement in the raft requires the two strongest persons sitting on the either side of the Rafts front section. Myself and Suyog took the front section, followed by Mita and Sristhi, Anandita and Tushar and at the end Manish and Harish.

The one basic rule of river rafting requires that if the entire team did the paddling in sync it would require the least individual energy. So to get our paddling in synch we all agreed to paddle on the call of ‘check’. Hence whenever the trainer should forward one of two front guys would shout ‘check’…. ‘check’…. ‘check’… until the all were in synch. And by the time we crossed the first rapid we were already being applauded by other rafts trainer regarding our paddling.

This was the team work and trust that helped us in the toughest rapids kundalika had to offer. ‘Johnny Walker’ is said to be the toughest Rapids in Kundalika river. Highly unpredictable and certainly unforgiving if mistakes are committed will going through it. By the time we reached ‘Johnny Walker’ we had already overtaken at least 5 other rafts ahead of us. we managed to easily get through with this Rapid with our paddling and balance.

But not all rafts and rafters were as lucky as us. As we stood on the slower side of the rapid and accident happened with one of the rafts that we had overtaken. Due to high current in river and some misbalance 3 rafters of the same raft were thrown out into the high speed and very dangerous rapid. Of which one managed to cling on to the same boats safety rope. The other too somehow luckily manage to get out of the rapid unhurt. But the third victim was not that lucky. She feel and got stuck in the rapid.

Our raft along with two other waited on the side so that we could see how it looks from the other side. And there this incident happened right in front of our eyes.

“oh shit she fell” Mita shouted.

“who pathar pe phasi hui hai” Sristhi added.

 “uske aage whirlpool hai she will not manage to get out” Anandita shouted as she had previously did rafting in kundalika.

And after that all I could hear was a large shout by Pradeep saying “forward fast”….. “forward fast” and that was the last sound that I remember hearing. I started to paddle and the raft started to move faster and faster, that to against the stream. I could only see one thing in my eyes. It was the girls stuck there. I briefly looked to my left side while paddling furiously only to see Suyog paddling equivalently and that too in synch even in such a panicking situation. Even more surprising was when I turned back for a sec everyone was paddling in same flow. And I realized we are the best chance for the girl to stay alive. Within few seconds we were easily 4-5 meters ahead from other rafts approaching her location. Paddling in the stream is anyways tough but paddling against the stream is much tougher. But together we all did it and that too at the right moment.

Before we could reach her location the girl again slipped and was swept away into the rapid. We were still not within the arm’s length. I don’t know about the others but I certainly realized that the flow of water is stronger than our paddling speed and we would surely missed her.

I just somehow knew if I bend halfway out in front of the raft and extend my paddle we could still manage to get her safely and with suyog alongside me even if I slipped he would manage to hold on to me. Without a second thought I leaned halfway out of the raft extending my paddle through my left hand keeping my right hand as a back-up in case she misses or slips out again.

 During the entire thing I totally forgot that while rescuing that girl from the rapid our raft had landed right in the middle of it. but somehow it was stable and suyog and me were able to focus on the girl. We didn’t even realize the rest of the guys were paddling their guts out not only to take the raft upstream but was also struggling to keeps us out of that deadly rapid trap.

Somehow the survival instinct clicked with the girl and with a shivering and nervous hand she manage to held on the paddle. As soon as she had a decent grip on the paddle I started to pull her close to the raft. Suyog by now too had his paddle extended out in case she slips again. By the time she was within the arms reach we were in the middle of ‘Johnny Walker’ again.

I also knew that until and unless we manage held on to some part of her body we cannot be sure of her safety. Because her grip might slip since she is in a fearful and panicked state but our wont.

the rescue crew tushar, suyog, harish, anandita, srishti, mita, manish and myself in the back

I again leaned out a little with my right hand extending out. And although she did extended her palms I still went ahead to hold her from wrist. Once held securely the flow pushed her towards the raft and within no time suyog grabbed her life-jacket from the shoulder and pulled her right out of the water. 

Even though the girl was now back on board, instead of 1 now 9 lives were in danger. We were to still get out of that Rapid. And now with trainer in front rather than back it was getting tougher.

She was terrified to even stand on her own feet’s and sit in the middle of the rafter. Her being in the front section now not only jeopardised her life but ours as well. I again grabbed her from under her arms and pulled a shivering Palak into the second section of the raft in middle of Srishti and Mita.

By this time suyog took his position back in the front section as we still needed to get out.

once on board we tried to calm her down
to make her feel a bit lighter we even tried flirting with her.I
 asked her "what is your name"
she stammeringly replied "palak" suyog replied "ansu toh nai gira lekin?"

on which mita replied "ro ro k nadi banadi hai puri"

even after hearing this she was still a bit nervous . so i leaned in front of her and said
 "ghabra maat, agar tu dobara pani me giri, toh mai dobara tujhe bachane k liye pani me kuduga."
on which everyone laughed and the nervousness vanished.
 

As soon as she was on board Pardeep our trainer jumped from the back of the raft to the front and screamed 
“REVERSE Double” …. “REVERSE Double”. We could hear the sound of cheers and claps I the background and yet everyone paddled furiously to get the boat some speed so that it goes through 

‘Jonny Walker’ all over again without tilting.

Mita and Sristi consoled the girl. While guys kept paddling furiously until we were out of ‘Johnny Walker’. 
 while anaddita kept paddling whilst shouting asking the guys to lift palak upside down to make her vomit out excess water that she might have taken in.
Another rapid quickly followed ‘Johnny walker’ and only after crossing it we took a sigh of ease. Everyone did not only our team but also the other rafts that watched us rescuing Palak.
what was more surprising that her original Raft didn't even wait for her. we could only catch up with them at least 2 km downstream. 

We never realized what we did until we were back to our normal selves. If you ask me, at that moment when we say the girl slipped from the second rock and into the rapid we even if the trainer would have said no we still would have went ahead. We knew our team had very good co-ordination many time better than the other rafts in her vicinity. And none of even felt the “What if??” fear of being pulled inside rapid. From that point onwards every raft that went past us applauded our efforts. They started to called us “The Rescue Raft”

I don’t know whether what we did was bravery or not, but whatever we did we did it together. A little quick thinking, a little co-ordination, a little self and group responsibility, a little selflessness, a little confidence and loads of team work and pure hard-core brute strength. But more than that sometimes the right amount of leadership, motivation and humanity is all it takes to feel brave. I am very sure that if anyone of us didn’t assume responsibilities both as an individual as well as towards the assigned task, the story either could have had a bad ending or even tragic.

With our combined efforts, team work and mutually assumed responsibility we managed to save Palak.  Neither we had her second name nor do we have visible proof of this incident because while other groups were busy getting selfies we were trying to save a life.

Why am I writing it is the last obvious question?

So that I could remember that there is good inside me, that there is a leader, a team player, a human, selflessness and responsibility in me. Perhaps a feeling which in itself is a life long motivation for me. And I am sure I speak for everyone included in this write-up. We could have done nothing without each other.

Hero’s are not born, they are made. And you guys are my hero.  
Excellent job everyone. I am proud to have known you.

That pinch of salt in curry !!

It was supposed to be my last meeting with her. It wasn’t that i was going to border or something but that was the general feeling my mind had perceived. Neither was i willing to think of this situation in any other way because even though it was just a perception of my mind deep down in my heart i knew that it was very close to reality. I meet her at Kanjurmarg station and although its a slow train station the place is always busting with people. Probably the station wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for IIT Bombay. 

And it is the closest connecting station to Powai. I saw Powai 5 years back when i came to Mumbai for the first time on my own, and had dreamt of living in hiranandani complex since then.  She was a colleague of mine at my first job. I don’t quiet remember how we manage to stay in touch with each other once both of us left that job. But somehow we did held on to that string, which at time was as thin as thread.

Being from a Punjabi family the only apt way for me to give her a farewell was by hosting a dinner for her, and it was for this purpose that we were heading in an auto back to my rented 14^th floor apartment overlooking my office which was just a walking distance away.

“So this is why you get time to cook?” she asked.

“Oh come on!! Cut that weird American accent one me... i know how crappy your English is.”

“Achaa!!... then you need to find a better excuse for avoiding this question”. She replied

“I am not avoiding anything, and what would you do now even if I did tell you?” I said.

I noticed a small hint of disappointment and her smile shrinking.

“but yes... this... this whole set-up.. this everything you see around me allowed me. And it is not a big deal.” I replied

 

“to live i need to eat... and to eat i have to make...whatever i can” i added

“you really need to work on your emotions young man” she replied and laughed.

“and you can laugh all you want when you will miss this home food out there” i said

I never realised her importance in my life all the time when she was around. Some might say that i did acknowledge this fact but couldn’t convey it. Some might even say that i didn’t convey it because of day such like this. But if you ask me i did convey it sometimes. Although it was tough initially but with practise and few more attempts it did came out the way i wanted it to come out.

But somehow between my chase and her running things just faded out. There was no specific reason, there were just these two things. One pulling me and other pushing me, both in different directions. and then one day she asked me “What am i in your life?”. And i had no answer. In that push and pull i guess i was lost.

“my god you do know how to cut onions.” She said leaning against the kitchen door as if teasing me.

“i hate backseat chefs....but i might make an exception for you, coz i don’t get many guests here.”

“really??... i might not like you making an exception for me.” She replied

 I understood the sarcastic tone in that sentence.

“I wouldn’t  say that if i were in your place, Especially now that you would be flying to America in a few weeks time with that crappy accent of your” I said so to dilute the situation with a wipe of fun.

“FYI it’s not America it Canada... waterloo, Ontario Canada my friend, and i bet your cooking wouldn’t be any better than my accent.”

“Then why dont you help me with the salt in fish curry for starting?” I asked her with an open jar of salt in one hand and spoon on the other. And instantly she knew that I had lost the argument then and there. She added a pinch of it in the curry and somehow it tasted.

“Perfect!!!... Now get out of that stupid apron and lets eat... I am hungry” she ordered.

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“Mr Lewis, you do cook better that my expectations” she said after taking a few bits of fish curry on dining table.

“Yeah?? don’t like it too much, I know you are going to miss it in ONTARIO CANADA....hahaha” i laughed.

“Itna bhi miss nahi karugi....” i again sensed a hint of sarcasm in her voice. I just couldn’t understand why.

She helped me wash the dishes with a promise that in turn i would help her get a Taxi. But this sarcasm of her kept poking my mind.

“You know once you had asked me ‘what were you in my life?’ Sometime back..” I asked her while we waited for a taxi.

“Yes and I also remember there was nothing that you said back then” she replied.

“Because I didn’t knew it back then”. I answered.

“So do you know it now?” she again asked with an attitude in her stance and sarcasm in her voice.

“Yes” I replied.

“And what is that?” she asked with a blade of sarcasm which i felt she had perfected since last time.

I answered “that pinch of salt in curry”.

Remembering that you are to be Forgotten....