So here we are again. At the end of one hell of a
year. And this comes to you from a place that I least expected to find myself
had you asked me to predict it at the beginning of the year. I was looking to
own this year like a boss before it began. But then the way it ended was totally
not what I expected.
One heavy word it is… ‘Expectations’.
I hate to admit it but this year took more out of me
than it gave me back. And not just on professional front but on personal as
well. I was never and still not afraid of losing nor was I afraid of giving fight
a fight back. This would surely be my last post for the year. Some might say I
have ignored my blog for quiet too long this year. But trust me the writing
didn’t stop. A hell of lot was written this year. Some for my dream, some to my
dream and rest about my dream. All in all I believe I never wrote as much as I
did this year. One thing I learned with writing is patience and dealing
rejection. Another thing this teaches you is no one worries about your dream as
much as you do it.
The best part of writing was it helped me channelize
my thoughts and ideas. On a personal level, it did feel a bit disappointing to
know that not everyone understands it. Or probably they just don’t care, or are
really too ignorant about it.
It’s strange… no matter how hard one tries to convince
others specially about a shared dream or ambition it really is not easy. This
task becomes all the more difficult If the person is just not ready to accept
the truth.
I too find myself guilty of this acceptance thing. It
was just that I was trying to test what people say so many time with pride and
honour.
I tried to test the line ‘love knows no language,
caste or religion’. And based on my experience this year I say this without a
doubt that it’s a big fat lie.
I don’t know what else to say. Being logical it’s hard
to accept even understand such things. It was one shitty experience to deal
with. I was told that love is the purest form of emotion. It seems hardly
anyone knows about this too. I failed to convince and I am failing to
understand the reason for the same as well.
Again perhaps the acceptance part is still missing.
Not loving someone with a fear of failure is
equivalent to betrayal. The only difference being you are not betraying the other
insignificant person but yourself. And in the two this “myself” matters most. People
who still think otherwise I feel are still slaves. Perhaps they are still
deprived of freedom. Freedom to act on what they think is right and correct. Or
maybe I have been on the other side of the grass for too long to see it this
way. I really wish they get freedom from whoever or whatever is stopping them
from acting on what was taught to them.
My teachers use to say. Love is about giving and
surrendering. But before that is the acceptance itself. Nothing can be
corrected or mobilised unless acceptance is there. And it goes to me as well. And
perhaps it’s a challenge for me as well to accept the acceptance.
The other most important thing I learned out of all
this is that it’s possible.
If the intentions are right and efforts are genuine.
One needs to have this believe within. I have seen it I have experience it and
hence I say that its possible. Losing everything and then getting it back is
possible.
Not giving up is the first step towards this. The very
few good things that I learned this year these two are the most prominent ones.
Because together both made me fearless at the end. one and only thing out of my
2017 bucket list I could achieve. And if you remember I said in the beginning
this year took a lot then what it gave me back. And off everything it took from
me it gave me this thing.
It would be unjust if I make this all about me but
then the others who mattered to me, I didn’t matter much to them. I am an
optimist more than a realist contrary to many. And I am not ashamed to admit
it. I believe in my faith still. And my faith is love.
With hopes that all steps that I took towards my dream
will materialize in 2018, and all that I lost will only be a learning lesson. My
life runs on motivation and inspiration. I never doubted myself I hope the me
inside myself does the same. Many walked away, many have forgotten many are
avoiding and many are I guess just too ashamed or egoist to find their way
back.
But I believe life is too short to live with regrets…say
it now do it now.
And I am just a ping away.
Cheers to an exciting year that was and optimist one
to come!!!
