It has been long since I have written something on
my blog. I don’t want to complain about it as well. I have no one to blame but
myself for it. And would rather not want to blame myself for it as well.
Probably I was having very little motivation or inspiration to do the same too.
I still don’t have a very good motivation to do the same now as well but it is
just that i am being reminded by an event.
Again this isn’t a good occasion or a bad occasion
but it is just an occasion. To be brutally honest with myself and you all it is
nothing more than just a date. And I know not many people will be in agreement
with me doing this especially now and this would probably won’t matter anything
to rest.
Yes initially it was tough for me to accept this.
That it doesn’t matter to people. I still find it hard to believe that a
something as important as someone’s feeling doesn’t matter to you. Not just any
someone, but that someone who believed to have found a sense of direction in
life because of you.
Is it really that tough to accept that you love
someone? Is it really that easy to ignore this truth? Is accepting this
acceptance really so difficult?
Maybe its because of ignorance. Maybe it is just
because of ego. Or maybe your stubbornness ends up making you feel impenetrable.
And then someone decodes and breaks this which makes you doubtful about your
own self. But instead of accepting it you doubt it even more. And if we speak a
bit more frankly peoples mentality today is so fucked up that they feel everything
the other person is saying or doing is with an intention to find a way into their pants.
Or maybe it is just that you lying to yourself about
your own self or maybe because you are afraid of the world. And it is perfectly fine to be scared
of a world and society that has failed in love. But that is not what worries me
and troubles me. What worries me is the fact that you are lying to yourself
about a certain emotion that is as pure as love.
How can someone be scared of their own self? How can
someone lie to their own self? How can you be so ignorant and hollow?
Because these are the only two words I get in answer
to all these questions. You had to be ignorant for not seeing and accepting it.
And you had to be hollow as well, for feeling it and yet not accepting it, the
love and respect of that someone. And they are so egoistic and stubborn and
stupid that they are neither willing to acknowledge nor are willing to let go. More
so frustrating is this person is not even willing to give an opportunity. Not
to others but to their own self.
Perhaps something that I would say was not a case
amongst us. Unlike now at least we were honest enough to accept it. If not at
least i was given an opportunity. To try, convince and discuss. It is something
i am still scrambling for since.
Frankly speaking there is no point in looking back
and comparing it with something even further before but like i said it is an
occasion. It is tough to pull yourself out of a certain perspective and think
rationally about something totally different. Blame it to the date if at all
you want to blame anyone. It is like your forget about this date for 363 days
of the year and somehow remember about it on the 364th day and then
it just becomes more than just an occasion.
I wish to wish you the best of the day. But like i
was told so many times none of this matters to anyone. Even if it does i have
been made to feel that it doesn’t. But
since it is an occasion its apt we utilize it, to redo something that I love to
do. Or the apt way to say, re-begin something that expresses myself. It helps
you to contemplate on your belief, faith and trust on something known as love.
If its your birthday today and if you are reading
it, there is nothing for me to tell you because it is just another day, its
just another birthday and its is just another write-up from just another guy
struggling to have his faith in love and he is doubting it because of another
random girl who is ignorant enough to lie to herself.
It has become just another day from a special day. The only
reason you are remembered this day is because even though you were far you were
close, and people near now are unimaginably distant away.
It’s really thoughtful that holding her hands would
be something I’ll be missing the most.
back then; and now too.
Baki like i was told so many times it the past...
kisi ko koi farak nai padta hai.
Khud ki nadani hatakar dekh
Ishq bhi tu... izhaar bhi tu...
Na dekh sake Jo mere jazbat ko..
Fareb bhi tu aur dagabaz bhi tu.
