Second Chance.... (#oSoS story-7)

"Can we talk for 2 mins on the phone before?" was one of the first lines Ankit said to me on WhatsApp. I initially denied talking because even if we did talk, it would be hard for me to remember all of it. But I felt if he needs to talk it must be something very important for him. So I eagerly awaited his call in the midst of my packing.

And upon calling the first thing he said was "well it’s a bit complicated..... ".

Ankit meet barkha through one of the many online marriage portals. Since both knew their individual purposes and intentions of registering, there were no surprises. They both knew why the other person was talking to them. Before meeting each other on the portal both barkha and aniket had been doing partner hunting since some time. until....

Until they saw each others profile and initiated a conversation. Just like every other conversation this too began on a very formal note. But this formal conversation was going to be much much more than just a general hello hi...

It took them just 10 days to get rid of any doubts about each other. It was during the last week of February 2015 they formally dashed into each others profile on shadi.com and it took them merely 10days to feel confident about each others intentions. In the first week of March they meet face to face for the first time.

 
It was in the serene and colourful ambiance of CCD andheri where they meet for the very first time. Although it was the first time they were meeting ankit for once was very sure that he would like to see more of barkha. According to Ankit the best thing he remembered about their first meet was that barkha was very beautiful and very mature at the same time. These two qualities just sank into him.  Their first meeting was followed up by talks on phones. The more they became comfortable, the more they began to meet. The curiosity about the other person and the willingness to share more about themself triggered the increase in the frequency of their meets. From every other weekend to every weekend and even sometimes on weekdays after work hours. 

In less than a months’ time they felt that they have reached the end of their search. In the mean while at least Ankit stopped his life partner search on portal. According to Ankit since both were looking for a long term stable relationship they decided to take it slow and one step at a time. 

It was indeed a very obvious decision take. He liked her maturity and simple hearted personality whereas she too liked Ankits straight forward ness and willingness to allways be there for her. Yet it took them 4 months of dating that too with initially not involving their parents to give a 100% commitment to each other about each other. 

But they both eventually did and after sometime notified there parent about each other and their intentions about each other as well. Surprisingly both their parents agreed to it.
But you must be wondering how a story that is sounding so flawless and simply prefect could be assumed to be 'complicated'. 
And if it is so, why have they decided to go ahead with their marriage?

I know these questions are in your mind as well.

The 'complicated' part of the story is that it not the first marriage for either of them. 

I was a bit worried and hesitant while asking questions related to their first marriage but again it was something that has to done and I am so glad that even Ankit didn't mind opening up about it and sharing it as well. he began...

"well its 'complicated' beause its not our first marriage. Our first marriage ended in divorce. we both initially got married via the arranged marriage route and it didn't worked out either for us. Mine ended in just 3 months but her first marriage took a lot of emotional toll on her as her marriage ended after one year. But although it took me just 18month to get out of it, hers took more than 3 years, mainly because her husband was an NRI. You know these things take prolonged time in our judicial system."

Now I started to understand why they wanted to take things slowly. it was the scars of the past that made them doubtful even of a good thing.

upon asking why did things went south on their first marriage he replied.
"both the partners are equally responsible. I had my signals initially but I still went ahead with it. Mainly because my parents had chosen my partner, which is how things are done, for which even they might have felt responsible and bad at some point of time."

"do u feel that divorce is the new deep, dark and hidden truth of Indian arrange marriage system?” I asked him hesitantly.

“Yes it is…..and it is increasing by the time. I met around 10 to 15 such divorcee… its tough that once you met parents quickly get you engaged and once engaged it difficult for both to get out in case they felt so.. specially for girls… once you go ahead and things don’t work out, it’s the only way out.”

“is it because of the generation gap or because of education which has given both partners financial independence and self-reliance?” I asked.

“Both I would say.. Since family are involved and there is pressure partners don’t get much time to explore each other plus the financial independence too is a major factor.. These things are there they are changing as well…. But still I believe that it happens mostly because of our Karma…”

“do you feel your bad first marriage robbed your romance?” it is what mostly people assume about broken marriage so I had to ask it.

“well it actually it did not rob me if you ask….i was a different person back then… I guess emotionally weak .... as far as my romantic element is concern it is there… it is still there minus all the stupidity part….  I guess we both are matured enough to skip it as well… but still I like to give her that special someone wala feeling too. She is a very beautiful girl and has a very humble family background.. We have so many thing similar amongst us, from education to passions, like we both explore new places, both of us likes to experiment with drinks… aur music toh hai he. So the romantic element is there but in a different dimension”

I was amazed to see the belongingness he had for barkha has transpired into something even I was finding hard to compile into words

“how do you show your romantic side to her?”  I asked hoping that it would bring out something exciting and it did.

“well it was her first birthday that we celebrated together. It was on 4^th October . I tried to make it very special… like kept gifting her throughout the day…took her to a nice restaurant, gave her many surprises there as well… and ended the night by bringing all her family members to the restaurant together and also a guitarist which played all her favourite songs. It seemed liked her face was not enough to withstand the lengths of her smile.. I guess she needed it as well.. it was high time that she too felt loved. ”

I was awestruck by this story. It’s the stories like this that inspires people to still have faith in love and god. Ankit and Barkha are set to get married on 16^th of April 2016. And I am so glad that they chose to share their story with me.

Lastly Ankit has two messages….

For Barkha:- I know you will keep my happiness ahead of yours… we had our downs. Life has given us a second chance….and it’s in our hands to take it to a different level.

For all those who don’t believe in second chance:- Love is beautiful. Whatever is gone is done. Give love another chance with learning from previous ones. At the end of the day it’s good to have someone besides you emotionally, physically and mentally as well.

All the Best Ankit & Barkha… 

Since this is the last write-up of OneStoryOnesketch I would like to extend my sincerest and abundant thank you to all for showing you faith in the idea. All I could share with you is my time, my siddhi and my prayers, because they are the only thing I consider as mine. I just hope people who drive inspiration and strength to listen to their hearts from all your stories.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all and all the best to all 14 individuals

God bless you all.