Just Another Day.

It has been long since I have written something on my blog. I don’t want to complain about it as well. I have no one to blame but myself for it. And would rather not want to blame myself for it as well. Probably I was having very little motivation or inspiration to do the same too. I still don’t have a very good motivation to do the same now as well but it is just that i am being reminded by an event. 

Again this isn’t a good occasion or a bad occasion but it is just an occasion. To be brutally honest with myself and you all it is nothing more than just a date. And I know not many people will be in agreement with me doing this especially now and this would probably won’t matter anything to rest. 

Yes initially it was tough for me to accept this. That it doesn’t matter to people. I still find it hard to believe that a something as important as someone’s feeling doesn’t matter to you. Not just any someone, but that someone who believed to have found a sense of direction in life because of you.

Is it really that tough to accept that you love someone? Is it really that easy to ignore this truth? Is accepting this acceptance really so difficult? 

Maybe its because of ignorance. Maybe it is just because of ego. Or maybe your stubbornness ends up making you feel impenetrable. And then someone decodes and breaks this which makes you doubtful about your own self. But instead of accepting it you doubt it even more. And if we speak a bit more frankly peoples mentality today is so fucked up that they feel everything the other person is saying or doing is with an intention to find a way into their pants.

Or maybe it is just that you lying to yourself about your own self or maybe because you are afraid  of the world. And it is perfectly fine to be scared of a world and society that has failed in love. But that is not what worries me and troubles me. What worries me is the fact that you are lying to yourself about a certain emotion that is as pure as love. 

How can someone be scared of their own self? How can someone lie to their own self? How can you be so ignorant and hollow? 

Because these are the only two words I get in answer to all these questions. You had to be ignorant for not seeing and accepting it. And you had to be hollow as well, for feeling it and yet not accepting it, the love and respect of that someone. And they are so egoistic and stubborn and stupid that they are neither willing to acknowledge nor are willing to let go. More so frustrating is this person is not even willing to give an opportunity. Not to others but to their own self.

Perhaps something that I would say was not a case amongst us. Unlike now at least we were honest enough to accept it. If not at least i was given an opportunity. To try, convince and discuss. It is something i am still scrambling for since.

Frankly speaking there is no point in looking back and comparing it with something even further before but like i said it is an occasion. It is tough to pull yourself out of a certain perspective and think rationally about something totally different. Blame it to the date if at all you want to blame anyone. It is like your forget about this date for 363 days of the year and somehow remember about it on the 364^th day and then it just becomes more than just an occasion. 

I wish to wish you the best of the day. But like i was told so many times none of this matters to anyone. Even if it does i have been made to feel that it doesn’t.  But since it is an occasion its apt we utilize it, to redo something that I love to do. Or the apt way to say, re-begin something that expresses myself. It helps you to contemplate on your belief, faith and trust on something known as love.

If its your birthday today and if you are reading it, there is nothing for me to tell you because it is just another day, its just another birthday and its is just another write-up from just another guy struggling to have his faith in love and he is doubting it because of another random girl who is ignorant enough to lie to herself.

It has become just another day from a special day. The only reason you are remembered this day is because even though you were far you were close, and people near now are unimaginably distant away.

It’s really thoughtful that holding her hands would be something I’ll be missing the most.

back then; and now too.

Baki like i was told so many times it the past... kisi ko koi farak nai padta hai.

Khud ki nadani hatakar dekh
Ishq bhi tu... izhaar bhi tu...
Na dekh sake Jo mere jazbat ko..
Fareb bhi tu aur dagabaz bhi tu.