the first Sunday of august.

To be honest I always have fantasized the whole concept of friendship day in my childhood. I never really thought about the reason or the motive behind people celebrating it. All we need is a reason to celebrate things in life. Well it took me a while to understand it. Almost till the first Sunday of august last year.

She was A last minute addition to my class like me which started of our friendship.  it wasn’t until the last months of 6^th semester that we actually started to talking regulary.  It was then I came to know that she was Bengali. Well it something which we will discuss some other time. But one thing very unique and characteristically relative to them is the way the put mascara in there eyes. I don’t know why my world starts and ends around eyes but they are the first thing to catches my attention. It wasn’t until I used to talk to her while waiting for our practicals to start that I started admiring her eye.

But the fact that she used to wear it daily and we used to meet made me big admirer of her. She was very typical type Bengali  girl, A little short in height and a bit healthy. She had a dusky complexion somewhere near to golden brown type and she never used to tie the gamcha around her face like most of the girl in nagpur do. I used to call her penguin because she similar to them.

There was always this mystique about those dark eyes on which she used to apply the mascara. She had big eyes and the mascara  lining used to enhance it and make them look deep and mysterious. It always used to look like a very beautifully decorated trap. 

  But the fact still remained that I was always mesmerized by the way she use to apply mascara.   you know the most beautiful fact about the entire craziness was that after a very long day of college when she used to get exhausted her kajaled eyes would look even better and much deeper as well.  Sometimes it would get all smeared up, but it still suited her and I would always make her realize this.  The best thing was that she always took my comment about her mascara eyes in a sporting way. (Koi aur hoti toh sochti ki chance mar raha hai).

Not many people knew that I have a old injury mark on my little finger which was fairly big.  It was cured a long time back but the mark of it still remains. When an injury is cured the skin over the injury becomes smooth and shiny and she liked its smoothness.

“I like your pinky, it very smooth, mujhe dede ” she used to tease me everytimes she used to touch it to feel  the smoothness of that cut.

“are you insane, how is that possible” I always used to reply.

“jo meri nai ho saki who kisi ki bhi nai ho sakti” she use to reply in dharmendre style which eventually sounded very funny in the end.

One fine day she did it. After a small argument on why I didn’t call to her in Christmas she scratched my pinky over the old Injury mark. Which was followed by a little blood of mine and lots and lots tears, drama and sorry by her.  But i knew all she wanted was a little attention.

“iska jawab milega…. Baraber milega” I told her in a gabbar type voice.

 I took my revenge almost 8 months after that incident. At a part hosted by our juniors in which they would chose there favorite couple and make them dance. There was no way that her name wouldn’t be called out and she wont be dancing with anyone else, this too was sure.

She was wearing a beautiful white gown with red belt and her typical make up, Dark thick eyeliner with a little lip gloss and pearl neckless. We had discussed about this situation and made planes of how we would react in the same.

But when you are so close to a person whom you know for a very long time its easy to predict the there behavior but its equally difficult to fight those weird feelings that comes in your mind. Thoughts that ask you to make full use of this opportunity and express what you feel, why you felt and how you feel. The other person wouldn’t be able to dodge it neither could run away from it. Because you literally holding the other person. The only thing that can accommodate that very small space when you are doing 3rd round of paper dance is your feeling for the other person and your willingness to accept there feeling into your world. And in such situation a look in the eyes is all it takes. And her eyes, well they had been my fantasy from the day I meet her. I feared once if I looked in her eyes from this close I would definitely, surely and absolutely would fall in love with her and I know that when she see it in my eyes she wont be able to held back her feeling for me. I was so close to her that she seemed vulnerable and submissive.

Boy did she looked beautiful or what. her entire face seemed like a very beautiful trap, a trap in which anyone would love to fall. For a while she looked down maybe even she felt the same way as I did. But when she looked at me the second time all I felt was “i surrender… whatever you will say its will be my decision as well”

She looked exactly the way she used to look after a long day in college which I always liked. And it was all her way to what she felt about me. sometime words aren’t just  enough.

Those black eyes surrounded by dark black mascara were so mesmerizing that it almost felt hypnotizing and when those eyes follow your eyes movement it feel  like a slave. You are trapped and before you know it you are no longer in control of your sense.

Some how involuntarily my right hands moved towards her face.  She felt my hands off her back and moving towards her face. And during the entire time she was looking straight back into my eyes and I tried to maintain the look back. But the look was so intense and constant and addictive that it made me scared.

This is the time when what you do defines your relations and you as a person at large. This is what you truly are the ultimate time of truth.

I gently took my right hand thumb near her left eyes and deliberately rubbed the thick layer of mascara from her left eyes smudging it. the smudge was dark at the origin and became lighter as it went outside finally vanishing into her golden brown skin. it was as close I could get to her. she was almost mine and I knew if I went ahead with it none of us could ever back out  of it.

“this is for what you did to  my pinky” wiggling my fingers in front of her eyes bringing her back to herself and giving her a devil smile

  And she almost cried. It was eventually my blue tie that helped her but I am glad it happened the way it happened.

 For a moment she was stunned by whatever I did but it was needed. It was my fantasy few years back but it felt like I did the right thing at right time

I chose to be a very good friend because I valued my relationship with her more.  I don’t know weather it was right or wrong but it felt right at that moment. Love demands perfection, predictability, space and similarity. Friendship thrives on imperfection, annoyance, surprise and diversity. Where love becomes weak friendship brings strength.

There is a very fine saying in English “two best friends can be lovers, but two lovers can never be best friends”.

It my dads birthday as well today which make this day even more special. I hope its even special for me and you as well.

happy birthday daddy... i hope i made you proud....