...then she cried all night.

 Isse ishq-eh-junoon kahe ya yaaro ki dua.

Ki char glass sharab pi gaye…tab kahi

teri yaadon ka fir nazar-eh-nazarana hua...

An AC that’s working at 16 deg, a soft and comfortable sofa and an surprised leave from work is all it takes to build up romantic ambiance. And then in one such leave you give a surprise visit to your loved realizing that its one of the best way to spend it. Especially for me as my work domain doesn’t permit me to have weekends off or get leave more frequently. One can’t even fight for it if you are a new joinee as I was.  That why I mentioned ‘surprise leave from work’.

 And here I was sitting on this lavish mid size sofa with the AC pondering me with cold air through its blowers behind by back. It was a bit brighter than it suppose to be for a 7 pm evening in Mumbai.

 I suppose it was due to the advent of summer at her 24^th floor flat in Andheri.  But you could still see the blinking lights of cars on the Western express highway. I sat in a very confined position on the window to have a clear look out. It looked like the lights were getting dissolved in the hot air and dancing air that we usually see over the horizon in summers.

“Since when did you start sitting on windows?” she asked as she stepped out of the shower. Her curly black hairs were all gone.  Now they looked much straighter. Her hair were all over the place as she tried to wipe them off but soon she got it all sorted out giving her hair a left banking.

“It’s my favorite place to sit… even in my flat.” I answered.

“I never knew that… but yes even I find it very peaceful.. Especially in rainy season, you should see the view from here.” She added.

She was smiling as she replied but there was a hue of tiredness in her eyes.  It ddidn'ttook me long to see it. Whenever she uses to get tired her eyes-lashes would get a bit swollen and turn pink. That’s what she uses to complain me many times on the phone. But I never knew that they looked so beautiful in reality. Her brownish eyes within those fluffy pink eyelash looked like yogurt ice-cream with strawberry sauce and a small butterscotch candy on top.

“You seemed tired?” I asked her. It was a stupid question but travelling in Mumbai even in metro is tiring.

“No .. not at all… instead I am happy that you are finally here with me after such a long time” she said pulling me down from the window and making us sit on the sofa. She grabbed my left arm with both hands and pulled herself close to me.  So close that I could feel the freshness of her shampooed hair.

“Either get a blanket or reduce the AC madam you we are shivering” I whispered in her ears as we were scanning through the music channels on TV.

“Its fine.. I am okay ” she replied in a shivering voice.

“yes that sounds really convincing to me… do it” I shouted.

“Ok don’t turn off the AC I will get my blanket” and she jumped off the sofa into her bedroom and was out in not time with her blanket.

We quickly covered ourselves with it and we snug up a little more. So much that I could feel her heartbeats in my arms.

“Why did you wanted me to straighten my hair” she asked

“I didn’t want them to ruin such a moment if at all such a moment happened” I answered with a little laugh.

But she didn’t respond, instead she just grabbed my hand even harder and I could feel the sweetness of her palm. We sat quietly for sometimes and I could feel her breath getting heavier and resonating.

“I am feeling a bit tired, I want to lie in your lap” she murmured

“maybe you should take a nap instead you seemed very tired.”I replied and we quickly rearranged ourselves over the sofa. I sat with my legs crossed and she slept over them. She squeezed her legs to fit inside the blanket and making sure that I get enough blanket as well. I tried to watch Man Vs Wild with a mute volume and suddenly I felt a faint swing on my lap followed by soft sobbing noise. As I looked down on my lap she was all drenched in tears and sobbing harder.

“are ro kyu rahe ho mam?” I asked her in a totally panicked state.

 I could feel the coolness in my thighs caused by her tears. I did not tried to stop her after that I just let her cry.

I just kept on moving strands of hair away from her eyes time and again as she wept. Wiping her nose off my t-shirt and putting her arms around my back. I just kept patting her back and waited…. And waited….. for her to speak.

“I am sorry, I am really sorry for looking so tired this evening. I think you expected me to look fresh but this Mumbai weather and work has drained me out so much. Its very hectic I am not sure if I could do it any longer, not alone…not by myself”

“I know how it feels…don’t worry you looking even more beautiful when you are tired.” I gently replied.

“Please do something, kuch toh karo….Please take me somewhere far… Mujhse nahi hoga. I cannot imagine myself without you.” And then she busted into loud cries as she grabbed me even harder almost pinching me with his long nails.

“don’t worry… relax we will do something…you trust me na?” I asked her

“hmm” she replied in the most sweetest voice ever.

“maam aap tension maat lo.. I have faith in motivation and you are my motivation.  I know kuch acha he hoga aapne sath.” I sound very confident but my reply wasn’t that gripping.

“I always wanted to sleep on your lap… kya mai thodi der so jayu” she asked me after crying for 15 more minutes.

“you better do…. And by the way sleeping and crying on my lap is not free, fees deni padegi.” I tried to crack a joke and she acknowledge with her 5 km long smile.

“mujhse bhi loge fees?”She asked me half asleep in a very babyish voice.

“Damn right miss rodlu…1 pappi per 15 mins crying” I said in a naughty voice.

“Okay….lena hoga toh lelena nind me….warna mai uthke khud he dedungi fees kudse… rone ki bhi aur sone ki bhi.”

Soon she felt asleep and I could feel her breathing getting longer and feathery and her body becoming still and relaxed. As I gently stroke her hair, somebody or something within myself made me say

“please GOD… please..give me strength to be the one with whom she could feel proud to stand with. I don’t ask for miracles but courage to achieve what is miraculous. Dear god I don’t ask for lighter burden but for broader shoulders. Please god ….please ….please….” it started off like a prayer but then firstly it got converted into tears and finally I was sobbing and it sounded like I was begging to god by the end.

Suddenly she woke up to kissed me … then she cried all night.

But there was this one thing I learned that day.

 LOVE IS ABOUT GIVING……AND NOT WANTING.

feedbacks are welcome....