MAYBE....you too.

I don’t know whether this writing would do any difference or how far this small piece of writing would go. But this is something that I wanted to do for myself, for my own self contentment and a process through which I do a self confession. It has been a long time since I wrote something that would speak about me. Well I know when I start to write about my thought process the write-up get complicated. Well it just gonna be the same this time also.

Well a lot has already been said, written and heard about the shameless act in Delhi. Something that has been happening from many years in Delhi and is posing a grave threat on the face of a country which is known as temple of democracy. Like billions of people living in India and all over the world even I spent a fare share of time in determining the answer or the reason to the most obvious question that people are asking

WHY?

All I could find was a million of reason with a very dominant MAYBE as a prefix.

Maybe they were not human.

Maybe they were high on substance.

Maybe they had a low upbringing.

Maybe it is something that happened in a spontaneous moment of rage.

Maybe it was just her bad luck.

Maybe somewhere somehow it was her mistake…maybe it was her carelessness.

Maybe it was ignorance… a trait that we as Indians have developed. Maybe it was because of something an old Mahatma taught us. But do some didn’t felt to abide to it where as others totally misunderstood it. Maybe it was tolerance that is inside Indian who doesn’t have a over-enlarged egoistic attitude. Maybe the meaning of tolerance and peace got converted into fear.

Maybe it happened because there is lack of respect.

Maybe it partial acceptance of western culture in   of which we lately felt very proud. Maybe it just managed to only reach our wallets and purses.

Maybe we are not ready to accept it that violence and sex is the core traits of  a human being which got subdued under a thin sheet of sophistication and civilization which is eventually getting torn apart. I guess all the above “MAYBE” is farfetched and vague.

Maybe the issue lies inside us. Maybe something is wrong inside me. Because if I say I never teased a girl before then I am the worst lier of this world. Here is me accepting it that even I have passed comments on girls. But I really feel sorry because it took an horrific incident like this for me to accept it. Maybe in saome way somehow in a very remote possible way even I am responsible for her rape and death. If I feel this way then even you out there are like me made of flesh, bone and blood. So we even you are responsible for her  rape and death.  So there is n way that you ask for justice if you yourself are a criminal.  If this so then all of us raped her and not only those 6. I did you did and the people all around you did it you cannot call for justice if you yourself a criminal

I really feel sorry today and ashamed as well.

I feel ashamed to be a human being.

I feel ashamed to me an Indian

And most of all I feel ashamed to me be a male.

She will never forgive me or you. Whatever we do now we just couldn’t be forgiven. We will have to live with it and take it to our graves. You and I just couldn’t ask for forgiveness for this act. We just didn’t fail that girl but we failed ourselves. We raped our self and we shoved ourselves with the iron rod. The pain that you feel inside is you yourself pulling the intestine out of your stomach. The grumbling and painful pinch that you feel inside yourself is how she felt when we shoved that rusted rod inside her.

If you can look into the mirror and say to yourself that you never ever teased a girl or passed a leaved comment on her then only you have a right to protest. Same goes for girl also. I know the crowed mentality even provokes girls to tease boys.  I tried and I failed.

Maybe Mayans and Archimedes  was right about the worlds ends. Just that we expected an Armageddon or solar storm. But it ended in this ways the most horrific way possible. We are self annihilating ourselves. Not with nuclear weapons and bullets and machetes but with “wheel jacks “and bamboo sticks.

We will have to live with it till our last breath. This is our punishment.

 May god forgive me for my act and all of us at large.