From Heart to Pen......

Safar aur manzil me itna he farak hai kafir….

Safar se fasla mitata hai…. Aur manzil se musafir….           - 17th october 2014

This is about yesterday, I was just returning from my night shift at around 7:30 am in the morning. My flat and office are walking distance way and I mostly prefer walking to and from office Ericsson Dakc. Usually I find it hard to keep track of the day... my life works on shifts....as suppose every individual working in operations knows. As expected I had forgotten what day it was until I came the square near my flat.

 i saw a slim girl in yellow top  and white jeans standing there, she was looking very fresh and ready for a hectic day. Later I realize that she was carrying a very big Back-pack and dragging a small trolley too. only then I realize that its Friday morning and unlike me its there last working day....even further disappointment set in when you realize that it the start of a very very long diwali week... again as i walked past the square  saw few more such individuals pulling their trolley bags.. Mostly were from Larsen & Toubro Infotech Identified by their yellow ids.

it feels even sadder to know ki not only you but most of your friends too wont be coming as well. for me the reason to go home in diwali is to meet them.. Coz it the only time in the entire when they all are home and we can meet together... it has been a very hectic year and a very dynamic as well.. many things and individuals have change.... I have learnt a lot during the build-up for this diwali. I have learned that ... friendship breaths with time.. It just requires time... and In fact even love requires time... love flourishes and blossoms with time. I know this by what have experienced... when there is absolute faith in mind things are achievable... having faith in dreams is important. Dreams fuel our drive and efforts towards its achievement....the moment you realize that someone has fallen in love with you is very exciting but once you realize that you have risen in someone’s love is even more satisfying and compelling. Its not necessary that your love for everyone should reach its ultimate goal.

But being there when the life is at its low is important. This too is something that I have learned that once the tough times are over and you move back on to a uphill trajectory of life people just let go of you… forgets you. I feel like a bloody bus…. One uses it only when his personal vehicle is not working. But the fact is people have to eventually move to better things in life. I find it hard to believe ki how people forget so easily. Except for a few case, and these few cases are friends.

One more point that I would like to comment on is about marriage. I do have faith in this institution but still I find how hypocoristic it has become. Not for everyone but for many. I firmly believe that marriage isn't the ultimate goal of someones life. I know many of my friends who are not married and are supremely happy and proud about it as well. Specially girls.  In the past 3 months I have seen countless girls posting their engagement photos on facebook. But I find it hilarious more than anything. As a matter of fact I find the once not engaged or married even more happy.

There are two types of girls in india… there are those who pursue their dreams and ambitions…. And then there are the remaining once who get married….hahaha.

Girls are not a commodity. Neither they should be treated like one nor they should use it as an excuse to chicken out of life.

Life is shit no doubt….but it is still the best thing that has happen to us. Life runs on commitment and motivation. It shouldn’t be dragging or just stall. Even a simple thing like clapping and cheering can make wonders in life. similarly an I love you too could make you walk bit more confidently. It dosnt matter if you say it to a known person or a random person. I remember on such incident few years back when I was in church with my family after Easter Sunday mass. A very small girl walked up to me and said “hello bhaiya… happy easter (and shook my hands), mujhe na meri didi ne bheja hai, unko kehna hai ki ap bahot ache lage unhe…aur who apko pasand karti hai.. unke tarf se I love you and happy easter”.

And she just left, vanished. i didn’t even knew her neither I knew her sister…. But it did filled me with a sense of belief. That what motivation does. Same goes with my holidays as well…. Ab kaun sa hafta bhar ki chutti mang raha tha.. 20^th se 23^rd tak ki… That’s it!!! now will have to sit alone in my flat on diwali. Even kaku our cook is on the leave… just Imagine. So I am gonna have to bake my bread and eat it too….

i find it hard to think what the hell m I going to do this diwali all alone? aisa nahi hai ki i am vella..... i have to study and write for Backbencher November edition as well..... but it is really hard for me to accept ki I won’t be going to Nikhil Kale home with pinky tai and aaji for pooja this year as always... i wish thoda break milta to acha hota...... so all those going home.... i envy you as much as i am happy for all you guys...and for all those who couldn't like me... i totally understand your pain... those in Mumbai... i would be cooking some really lavishing stuff for myself please feel free to jump in...

and all those going home... I won’t mind if you send me some santra barfi and ferrero rocher or Cadbury tempetation or celebration... and all the mumbaiwala reading this I need chivda and chakhli with laddu…  or maybe just a phone call....

and if you get a chance to visit my home... tell my mother that....

I AM ON DUTY...

Aaj jaane ki Zidd na karo.

An inspired Fiction……celebrating 50th article on my blog...

Friends and Mumbai is a very rare combination, but friends in Mumbai are party combination. I really felt that it was the last time we were together. And adding friend’s girlfriends in this group is….. Speechless. Coz travelling in harbour line with girls isn’t a tough task and this is the best part that I like about it. There is no issue if ladies travel with gents in second class gent’s compartment. An idea that would sound very close to suicidal if you consider central line and specially western line even in the non-peak hours. 3 of my diploma friends decided to come to Mumbai with their girlfriends & fiancés(unlucky man) to witness Ganesh Visarjan an event that pump adrenaline and faith into even the smallest of the streets.

But she arrived a Day late……

Technically speaking she was roommate of my friends Fiancé during the entire engineering years until after final year when she moved to Hyderabad for better career options. Thanks to whatsapp even this distance didn’t mattered much, In fact to all of us. Still seeing her after so many year was refreshing. Didn’t knew how. 

3 days zoomed by my side. And it was 9^th September evening….

 The rest had left earlier in the afternoon to their respective destinations following the Ganesh visarjan. But she had to stay back. Her train was LTT-Secendrabad Duranto express scheduled at 22.50 pm in the night from kurla terminus.

We boarded the 9:50 pm CST local from Nerul heading towards kurla in a local which was relatively empty. We sat on the ends side of the 2^nd class boogie because she wanted to see the view. But even though it was late we didn’t feel uncomfortable or scared. In other words we were more comfortable around each other as we sat next to each other closely.

This was what I felt since last evening. We decided to go South Mumbai on bikes to various places like girgaon Chaupati to see ganesh Visarjan. Since all my friends had already brought their baggage or pillion with them I was left to give her company. And trust me it was like an answer to my prayers. I was totally over the moon and even she was happy to sit on my super cool hero Honda hunk.

 It almost felt perfect to be in the city you love on your super amazing bike and with one of the most beautiful and chilled out friend like her. And this unpredictable monsoon just hypnotises you. Like I had said earlier monsoon doesn’t let you to stay alone. The light drizzle on an endless Eastern Express Highway is almost the last thing one can ask for. She was wearing black salwar and everything matching to it.

“You used to look shorter na? How come you grew up so tall?” I said.

“kuch bhi.. I am too screwed up to get any better” she replied.

“I am finding it hard to drive with you sitting back” I said.

“Why so? Don’t you dare tell me ki mai moti ho gayi hu” she said while checking herself.

“no no it not you… it basically your flying black dupatta, your thick dark mascara your black eyes, black bangles and along with it everything in black in my rear mirror is distracting me” I replied with my fingers crossed.

“Hmm” she replied casually.

“Anyways I am glad to see all of you here.” I said.

“So am I…. and how am I suppose to answer it….but actually I am more happy to see you with me” she added.

“Oh ho madam is trying to over smart me???? shyanpatti k mamle me mai pura mumbaikar hu… you know…BAAP hu mai….BAAP…BAAPPP !!!!!” I shouted as she busted into loud laughter. It took just 45 minutes to get rid of all the rust and hesitation. By the time we reached girgam 5 years just seemed to have vanished.

As we sat on chaupati watching waves after waves of devotes bringing idols and submerging them I remembered she used to be very tomboy and chilled out girl. When did she turn into such a beautiful lady?

“How come this happened to you?” I asked her.

“Excuse me?” She asked.

“This… this entire new you” I asked her gesturing my hand from her head to toe.

“You used to be very casual and roadside kind of rebellious girl, suddenly I find you more sophisticated, kisi ke Ishq me padh gayi kya?” I enquired.

“It seems you know very well about it, as if you did love someone too....” and then she stopped after all my friends were laughing over this stupid argument.

“maff kar maa” I smiled and replied.

But in this stupid argument something broke in us. A lock to a deep deep secret locker within our hearts was picked. Although she didn’t tell but her eyes were truly hiding something. I knew that I have cracked that code. And even she felt the same as if I was watching my own eyes in mirror. Our secret was no longer a secret.

And now she is leaving….. again. As we sat next to each other on the wooden seat starring at each other.

“Stop starring at me.. I feel like a weird witch” she shouted.

“Are you stop starring at me” I shouted in return.

“No you stop and by the way I wasnt starring at you I was checking your hair” she replied.

And then somehow something inside me propelled me and moved me towards her. So I just went with my heart, leaned over and kissed her on lips. It just simultaneously happened.

“Why? What wrong with my hair?”  I asked her as I leaned back on my seat as if nothing happened.

“No…..nothing… its ok…no problem” she said without any dramatic reaction.

“Short hair looks good on you” she said as we walked to kurla terminus from Tilak Nagar station 11.00 in night.

“tu zada tension mat le… seriously it’s ok… no problem” she reiterated.

“Are you sure ?” I asked her and she nodded yes.

“I am sorry for last night”.

“So am I for tonight” I added.

“Then we are even”.

Her train was already standing on the platform. As we neared her 3 AC boggie I wanted to hold her back. But it was almost time for departure….

We stood facing each other on the platform as she tried to grab my shirt and even pinched me on my stomach as if trying to say something.

“kisi samajhdar insane ne mujhse kaha tha…. NEVER LET A GOOD THING PASS” I said.

“chal tu abhi ghar nikal.. It’s getting very late” she said as if what I said didn’t matter to her at all.

“Why? Abhi time baki hai na??”

But I didn’t realise that her eye were already moist before I finished my sentence.

And she replied “kyuki Agar tu nahi gaya….. toh mai nahi ja paungi.”

Inspired by ‘Aaj jaane ki Zidd na karo’  a song by Fayyaz Hashmi. 

The Delhi Trip Diary_day2

Day 2:  Zeyarat-eh-mukhlis…..

Its not easy to sleep in a Air conditioned room specially when you are not habitual.  But in delhi you can’t sleep in night without AC. It too damn hot and when there is very little rain you don’t have any other option. And when 3 good friends meet after 3 years you can be rest assure no one can sleep. Somehow all the possible bullshit talks happen in night. I am sure everyone who meet there friend after a long time will clearly understand what I am trying to say. we had lights out at 11:00 pm but we just couldn’t sleep till 3 am.

“tum saale mujhe sone nahi doge,mera office hai kal” sardarji said while trying to sleep.

“koi nahi sardarji kal office mat jao” chintu said laughing.

“saale naya manager aya hai sab log work from home karenge toh who baal nochte baithega” he replied.

And we all busted in loud laugh at 2 am in the morning.

The next morning initially we had just planned for Akshardham temple. For that we had to hopped from red line to yellow line and then into blue line towards Noida city center. The demography of delhi just remains the same. Everywhere its just the same endless structures, no scenery and very little to look outside the metro.

Until you reach the Akshardham temple which can be seen clearly from atleast 2 km away from the station itself. And it is huge and even huge is not the correct word to describe it. The security check is un-parallel there. It wasn’t the first time I was visiting this place but chintu was awestruck by its magnificence, planning and carving.

We took advantage of this opportunity and pray to all the gods and it was really an inspiring experience. The last time when we came I didn’t pay attention to small details like the minute carvings depicting early life of lord swamynarayan.  my attention was towards someone else the last time I visited this place.

Thinking of her just brings a stupid smile on my face like I have one right now. But it was different this time. 

She wasn’t but I am…..we meditated 20 mins and promptly moved out. 

Without wasting any more time we decided to move on from the place. And just then it struck me that I haven’t been to hazrat Nizzamuddins Dargah.

“hazarat nizzamuddin  ki dargah challe?” I asked chintu.

“chalo bhai… muhje bus apna time waste nahi karne hai… I mean I want to fully utilize my time here” he added.

As we walked out of the temple we called sunny to ask him the directions for dargah. He said “noida link road se direct auot milega”

Thanks to my screwed up GPS mind it took us around 45 mins to reach hazrat nizamudin.

 The Dargah is located a km or so inside from the main road we had to walk our way into it. The narrow lane was filled to the neck with people but still we didn’t mind. We just kept on… neither of us had been to this place before so we just followed the crowd. Honestly it was the crowd that was taking us towards the dargah. In some time we found ourselves in a sea of ziaraatin in lane which just kept getting narrow and narrow. Where flower shops thong on both sides of the lane the shop owner were shouting and literally pulling people in their shops requesting them to remove there footwear and buy chadder and flowers from them.

Even though it was hot and humid the entire lane was filled with various scents and fragrance of iter and rose flowers. We found an empty shop just randomly and removed our shoes infront of it.

“As-salam-waleh-kum” the shop owner greeted us. He was in complete white outfit and sat in the midst of rose petels.

“wahelh-kum-asalam” I greeted him back.

We washed our hands and asked him “miya do zeyarat dijiye”

“sirf phool ya chadar bhi” he asked

“nahi chacha aaj sirf phool” I said

“miya 4 lagege… andar do dargah hai… ek amir khusro ki dusri hazrat baba ki… toh 4 zeyarat lagenege” owner said.

Chintu and me looked at each other and then he noded.

“thik hai chacha 4 dedijiye” chintu said.

And we continued our journey towards the dargah in a lane which kept getting narrower and narrower.

But once you enter the dargah compound it’s a totally different place. You find people standing in queue to enter the shrine and volunteers rigorously shaking big fans to provide coolness to the visitors. One can literally feel the heaviness of prayers in the atmosphere. First we visited Amir khusro shrine and what you feel inside there is unexplainable. It is filled with prayers, wishes and thanks. But it wasn’t the main shrine.

Then we headed towards the main shrine of hazrat nizamudin. The place has a magical effect. It totally elevates you to a new place. You know you don’t feel anything apart from the divine and yourself. As we entered the shrine a lady gave his zeyarat to chintu and said “andar chadha dena”.

Chintu was shocked and didn’t knew what to say and so we just kept moving with the crowd. But once you enter the shrine it you and the divine only.

That day I realise that there is no harm in joining hands and bowing head in front of the divine. Once you enter the dargah with your handkerchief tied around your forehead, no one is rich no one is poor. Neither you are old nor you are young. All are one it dosnt matter if you are a Christian, hindu or muslim. Once you seek help of the divine he never differentiates. All he expects out of you is faith not necessarly in a particular avatar of him, but in him generally.

We kissed the chadar lying over the shrine and prayed and thanked the almighty.  Faith and belief can neither be created nor destroyed in one day. It an intangible part of our personality.

Before leaving the place we sat for a while listening the qawali.

I didn’t feel like leaving the place but we have to. Sardarji had left his office and we were due to meet Adi as well.

“acha chacha baba ki meer rahi toh dubara zarur ayenge” I said saying goodbye to the shop owner

Instead in return he replied “In-shah-allah”.

 Trust me I was totally filled with satisfaction and relief after visiting the place but the day wasn’t over yet….

The Delhi Trip Diary_day1

Day 1:  souls of lost memories…..

I was very sceptic about going to Delhi for my break.  It didn’t felt like a great idea initially. You will say that I am very pessimist about everything that happens around me. But it wasn’t that this trip was planned all of a sudden. We had to plan it at least 2 months before. It was because of the obvious super cramped Indian railways reservations. But traveling 1^st time in 3^rd AC was a new experience.

But I am glad that I agreed to what my roommate had planned.  Wasn’t because I was willing to go to Delhi but because of the super packed, hectic and draining month of July. It really tested my patience and limits, my willpower and persuasion ability. Trust me it looked easy initially…. Well at least I hoped it would be, but as I went through it, it didn’t seem easy at all. But I got through it. (Thanks to RED-BULL)

It wasn’t because of just one reason but there were many issues that took a piggy-back ride along with the exam stress and presentation blues.

So when on 28^th I came out of my last exam center (the paper didn’t go well) I was blank, stuck and heavy-eyed. Not only because of studies and work but in generality. I was tired of running. It was then that I realize that people here in Mumbai are not running after thing. Instead they are running away from things.

To add to the woes I hadn’t slept the whole 27^th then on 28^th too as I had to do some last minute correction in the article for the magazine. I had hardly slept. On the night of 28^th even though I was in need of sleep I agreed to join my teammate for a late night beer.

I had hardly packed anything and by the time I came back to my flat I was totally zombified. I filled whatever I could in my backpack and took to bed.

“tu kaise mara leta apni itni?” were the last words I remember  that my roommate said to me. It was almost 2 when we slept.

Next day we woke up like hippies and went to office. We had to reach Bandra terminus by 4:45 pm. And trust me Mumbai locals have zero reliability in rain.

We left early from office still sceptic about going to Delhi. Even after sitting in our 3 AC seats we were doubtful. But once the train left Bandra Terminus there was no turning back. The cold AC winds did brought some relaxation with it as I straight away slept.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 Delhi is one place that really upsets me. But I had decided that I will overcome it this time. Ultimately it just gave me another reason to undertake this trip.  But once I got down at hazrat nizzamuddin station the next morning it was like a weird experience. You know that kind of filling when everything around you just remains the same. But somehow nothing seems similar. Only drastic change that we felt was in the weather. Where in Mumbai we were socked in heavy rains and mossy wet winds, here we were welcomed by hot bright orange sun and the only moistness we felt was of our own sweat.  It was exactly how I left Delhi the last time. I remember buying pastry from comsome situated at the lajpath nagar side exit of haz. Nizzamudin station. But somehow I was finding it difficult to remember anything apart from it.

My roommate said that “tera GPS pura ulta hai.”

Perhaps he was right as well. The autowala took us to Indraprastha metro station. And it really felt stupid when he took a round trip of station and exited from the sarai kale khan side.

But once reaching there it was the real déjà vu feeling. I was very scared of getting down at Rajiv Chowk not knowing how I would react. But honestly it was just the same, maybe I was overeating. Or possibly overstating stuffs.

I tried to locate the Nirula’s café but it wasn’t there. It was then I realize that things have changed. It was tough to accept that the world has moved on. There was no sign of Nirulas neither my old metro card was working nor any faces felt similar. 

But the best part about this entire journey was that I wasn’t going in the usual direction towards Noida but on the opposite direction towards Rithala. I never knew that it was the first line to be commissioned by DMRC.

From Rajiv Chowk to Kashmere gate and from there climbing upstairs towards RED line going towards Rithala was that part of Delhi that I had never seen. And there was one more thing that I was about to see after almost 3 years our dear friend sardarji. Actually my current roommate is sardarji’s ex-roomate and he was all the more joyous to meet him.  He whisked us from metro station straight to his home in Rohini and treated us with the most amazing chole kulche in lunch. My roommate was supremely tired so he quickly surrendered to sleep as soon as the AC was turned on.

Later that evening we had the most amazing dinner in a very long time. Sardarji took us to a very famous food joint in pitampura where we had Chengezi chicken which was cooked in ghee on the largest tava I have ever seen. It tasted divine with khamiri roti.

And trust me it was the most amazing chicken that I have tasted in my short lived life…

My mind was empty that night partly because the day turn out the way it did and partly because it didn’t… but I was happy to meet an old friend and most importantly. And I was ready….

Come-on Delhi…. Surprise me in a new way.

To be continued…..