On this Independence Day celebration there is no need for me to tell you that how fortune you and me are. Nor I would be the first person to tell you that how fortune we are. There may be some bad things that we have faced but the good thing that envelops them is much more important than it.
Yes we have 364 days to crib about how we have lost our direction of freedom and interpretation of independence, but to think on it we have 364 other days. Today is that day you feel proud about everything that you are. Initially I wasn’t intending to write anything in such a short notice. But there was this small incident, this small instant, this momentary face-off what is inside me. It was an encounter with myself. That I, which since past few days had been thinking on it.
A fear and an unease that was bothering me was this photo. Two important things happened that had inspired me to write this. The first happened while we were distributing sticker flags in various office floors.
There was this new joinee in my roommates’ team who wanted to be a part of our team, this team. So he was inquiring about how it can be done. All could do was inform him and say a very genuine sorry. But deep down somewhere it felt good.
Up until now we knew that we were doing something additional, something that if you ask me personally was my choice. It was something that I chose to do because I liked doing, enjoyed it and it is the very same thing that I do without any fancy expectations in return. This was the general feeling that I had about my intent and activity that we do apart from our normal allotted and assigned task.
But today it for the first time it felt like I was doing or did something that was actually good. This small conversation with this new guy filled me with the sense of gratitude and success. Why? The very reason of his intention to join our team prompted me that whatever we were doing was actually being felt by the employees at large.
The second incident that happened today was more important than the first. With this t-shirt and this batch I was walking past NNOC towards F-block food court late in the afternoon. I was supposed to be my weekly off but still I was in the office as our team had organized some activities for our employees that required all of us to be present. To give a unique identification we were given this T-shirts.
While walking past the rear Side of NNOC going towards the F block food court I saw few of my colleagues walking back towards me. For a moment I stopped and was startled, doubtful and fearful as well. There was this strange something that made my head go down every time I would see someone staring at me in this t-shirt. But today this fearfulness was even more because that tricolor batch which we were given. I was so fearful about their sarcastic questions that for a moment I gave into my fear and turned back to walk away. This was something that I had faced many times but never a thing like this had happened to me before. But what was I embarrassed about? Was there any reason for me to be embarrassed about? Was it because of t-shirt? Or was it because of the name that was written under it….? Or was it because of what is there below my name? Or was it just nothing???
I did turn back, but it was brief. I took a few sec to compose myself and again turn back. Actually there was nothing for me to be embarrassed about. It was just my fear.
Yes the look that we get both good and bad is a part of our responsibility. This is what always happens and has happened many times before as well. As far as the T-shirt is concerned, it is not easy to get. The new joinee who was interested, am sure was more interested in the T-shirt. Although it seems very simple but it comes with a lot of responsibility. A responsibility that we have to fulfill apart from our job descriptions and role in the organization and vertical teams for which we are assigned work.
Tired legs, lunch less days, hours of discussion and planning and numerous tasks and responsibilities that is carried out in the back end that most of the people do not see. And it is the same thing that happens for every time and for every event that we undertake. It is totally not our usually 8 to 10 hour shift. It’s much more than that and precisely the important task that many people don’t see.
Was I embarrassed about the name that was in the shirt? For a moment yes…. But there are very few people who know what actual it has taken me to get that name under the teams name. For some it would have been comparatively easier but for me it wasn’t. There is something known as stepping out of the comfort zone, but for me with what I was doing there was no such thing as comfort zone. It was lost somewhere sometime in last few months. Those how knew me during this time knows what I am saying.
But once you start enjoying it doesn’t really matter whether you have a comfort zone or not. Personally I had to go way out of my way to manage doing these entire things well. Perhaps all the people don’t know this. As far as the name itself is concerned I am habitual to such unexpected reactions.
Was wearing a tricolor batch on 14th august the reason for my doubt? Perhaps yes but it was mostly because of the date not otherwise. However the entire combination could be the reason for my doubt. This photo says it all, maybe there is something that is different in me or it is something that I feel is different in me.
But this experience helped me realize an important thing, that there is another aspect of freedom. freedom not only means being free from slavery and oppression but also means freedom from the fears that lies within us. Freedom from that though that makes us say “I can’t do it”, freedom from that feeling that makes us think “I am not responsible for this” and freedom from the act of backing out. But most importantly it is the act of facing your fears. This would have two possible outcomes either you learn how to face it or you will ultimately end up conquering it.
Either ways you will become free of your doubt about fear.
Freedom is not a right, it is a privilege. The main reason being that we got it neither easily nor ordinarily. Same is the case with our own self. Freedom is also needed from self-disbelief, self-oppression and stiffness. An empowered society will result in an empowered nation. The strength and safety of the nation is not just the responsibility of people in uniforms. With a uniform come large responsibilities and a sense of order in chaos. But by and large its everyone’s equally.
And this t-shirt and names on it helped me understand it very well and I am glad about. I just hope people on the outside too understand that it’s not just about the t-shirt or the name on it. There is lot more that comes with it.
Inspired from…
(I always thought that in the world there are two kinds of people ... one who go silently to their death ... and second who go crying and screaming to their death ... and then I met the third kind….)
Rang De basanti 2006.
Happy Independence Day
